"Dear Alaina,
I have almost never felt uncomfortable with any sexual experiences in our marriage. Except once. Only once. But it happened 10 years ago and I've never said anything to him about it. I still feel extremely uncomfortable and embarrassed when I think about it. Is it worth saying something to him all these years later? It's never happened again, and if we were ever in a situation where there was an opportunity for it to happen again, I would absolutely say no. I don't know, every time I think about it, I feel uneasy and I've always struggled with whether I should say something or not.
-Wondering"
Dear Wondering,
Thank you for the courage in voicing this fear, you are not alone in wondering if there is a time limit on when to talk about hard things in a relationship. Personally, I would say something. Even though it's been ten years and hasn't happened again, it still bothers you. It's okay to voice those emotions and talk it out. Transparency and vulnerability in that will help deepen your emotional intimacy with one another. It is a natural part of a relationship to be learning and growing around what does and doesn't feel good or make you comfortable. Having that talk now will also help ensure that you know his thoughts around this incidence and have reassurance it won't happen again. For all you know, he might have felt the very same way.
-Alaina
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